whining is not an art form

bottle the first:
pain to ease the pain, burning to ease the searing, shivers to the illusion of warmth. if i had any fucking guts at all i’d take a needle no maybe that wouldn’t be enough a scalpel but i don’t have a scalpel – exacto knife? and i’d release the pressure. but i cannot bring myself to make the incision into perhaps the worst square centimeter of inflammed tissue ever to exist on my body. pain would ease the pain, but the best pain i can manage at this juncture is seventy proof and burns like peach.

bottle the second:
pain = answer. used to lick my lips too much. chapped cracked sore as hell and unattractive oh yeah fancy ugly, not just plain. insert large stainless steel barbell in tongue. walk out into the night floating on the pain and feel the tongue try to make a move on the lips. denied, courtesy of pain. dear b.f. skinner, you were right about everything, love, me.

there is no third bottle:
they were tiny bottles of course. to be honest i still struggle with bottle the second, i am not the wild irish alcoholic i once was. however who and what i am is mostly the result of various answers involving pain. punishment. rewards i take first undeserving even knowing i will turn on my self after. cycle circles around comes to rest like a knife at the base of the throat, thin line of shimmering red suggesting the worst yet to come. i do not know whether or not i ought to be struggling.

there is another answer. it involves pleasure. i will not ask.

i don’t have a point. it’s only a toothache.

13 thoughts on “whining is not an art form

  1. … words i do not have. i sit here stunned. speechless. searching. ice cubes upon an open flame. wondering. pondering on bottles of fire.

  2. Is it, like, pus-filled ya think?

    if so, it wouldn’t hurt that bad to use a syringe with a really fine tip, like a diabetic syringe to make a small release valve.

    Wait, I’ve got it.

    Go to the sex toy store, and get that stuff (Stud 100 Male Genital De-Sensitizer) that’s supposed to be applied to the male member to desensitize it. It’s. like, lydocaine or something. Anything ending with -caine is going to act as a general anesthetic. This stuff makes everything all numb, just like (see…) novacaine.

    Then go to the needle exchange (all of the larger cities have a junkie’s needle exchange) and tell them you need some 1/2 cc (smallest size) u-100 B-D insulin syringes. They’ll even give you alcohol prep pads.

    Then go home, apply the Stud 100 Male Genital De-Sensitizer to the afflicted area (after disinfecting the entire mouth with copious amounts of alcohol, of course…), and then after bleaching the syringe to kill the germs, slide into the inflamed area.

    This should result in a breach of the integrity of the surface of your skin just enough that the pressurized smelly pus will project itself clear of the afflicted area and after you clean the runny yellow matter from the bathroom mirror you will be ready to resume whatever it was that you were doing before being overcome by this massive whirling vortex of pain.

  3. i have 20% benzocaine it doesn’t do a dang thing. and reading that? all of a sudden the tooth made that snapping nerve spark sound and started going off like you wouldn’t believe.

    so what we have here is a sentient infection that you just pissed off.

  4. I smoke on the mic like smokin Joe Frazier
    The hell raiser, raisin hell with the flavor
    Terrorize the jam like troops in Pakistan
    Swingin through your town like your neighborhood Spiderman
    So uhh, tic toc and keep tickin
    While I get ya flippin off the shit I’m kickin
    The Lone Ranger, code red, danger!
    Deep in the dark with the art to rip charts apart!

    Yo.

  5. liz, get thee to a dentist. Advil, and gargle with saltwater. i really don’t know what else to say, there is always, abisol [sp?] the stuff that you us for teethig that might diminish the pain, but other then that, the tooth doctor is who you really need.

  6. saltwater do gargle with saltwater. if it doesn’t go away you need to get to a dentist no matter how. teeths are close to brains and infections sometimes spread.

  7. i have antibiotics. and i have tried to get dental care. i don’t have the money. i can’t do it right now. nor for awhile. i will, just not now.

  8. it will be ok liz. one step at a time. and we are here too.anytime you need us. *big squishy hugs*
    saltwater, gargle with saltwater too, it will reduce any swelling and help clean out the infection.

  9. and if the tooth doctor would do anything without money upfront i would surely go. and if i had money i’d no doubt spend it on carpayments or somesuch first, i have antibiotics and this will get better enough to stand it in a day or so, i have to wait. i’m about to move out into … the unknown, with a horrifying lack of resources. it’s … grim. so the tooth must wait.

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