… have i mentioned i am not sure if i am getting enough attention? it is entirely possible i am not. when i used to be kd i was all about the attention, i lived for it blogged for it i played to those cheapseats yes i did. & i discovered disquiet in my self & i knew it/shit had to change & change big i knew i had to stop stopping my self from expressing itself, had to learn to say shit like ‘sell my ass for cigarettes’ without worrying that somebody was gonna get shocky on my ass & stop reading me & godforbid delink me i mean i was in the topten of blogrolling back then, & i treasured whatever that meant to me in some major way & then almost abruptly i gave that shit up.
walked away. tried to be someone anonymously notme but that didn’t work out it takes time too much time to build a new you & get that new you to be someone somebody will read. so i resorted to revealing my old identity in a slick & secretive fashion involving utilizing the email field to say (it’s me kd) in comment boxes &/or confessing my identity shift to anyone who thought to take the time to email to ask wtf? because i make people ask wtf? it’s what i do.
dunno wtf i am trying to say here really or well yes i do but no it doesn’t matter & also i do not have a point particularly.
oh whatthefucking well. waitaminute wherewas/were … i/we? ohright. attention. i don’t have the time the bandwidth the attentionspan to deal with the bandwidth issue & therefore i cannot make the comment rounds for that attention & i know i know this is all about reciprocity & i can’t right now it’s not just this but then again it is & what about the attention? what am i supposed to do? about the attention?