i steal what i want to say & lie about why

i gotta watch it a lot i’m better at this than you
i gotta swallow the part that wasn’t easy to chew
i got my knife in the back when i was young and unmade
i built a doorstep for you don’t leave the things you’re afraid of on mine

i am better at this than you, you know. well you do now. oh not you! personally. this is some figurative shit, i assure you. & not even derivative. no it’s out & out plagiarism with attribution as if that excuses it, which in this case it does, more or less. it’s all 1’s & 0’s man. & i am better at that than you, that’s for goddamn sure. a rule proven by its exceptions, if such a thing exists. if.

i built my house in the mud because i want to stay clean
my windows are all broken i can’t afford gasoline
i dance around in a twist thinking what luck it will bring
i watch pedestrians stalk hoping they’ll get their little fingers
on time on time on time

time is the most malleable dimension, all fluidity in motion & all & always different from each & every perspective for ever & ever amen. i love & am in love with time, head & heels transposed in a tumbling rush yes this is love, this is my love

i’m thinking this will be better when this is over
sitting on my bed getting un-sober
sleeping in the park hey man scoot over
vagrant as it seems it’s alright

amen i say oh yeah amen baby

don’t let it go to your head without a place it can stay
you can’t give back what you stole by looking the other way
i’m gonna spit it out now you’ve gotta swear not to peek
because i’ve already been to where no one cares a thing about time
about time about time about time

it disappoints me in myself that i rely completely on someone else’s words to say exactly what i mean but the way words connect things to me i have been forced to get used to it. these are john lombardo’s, ‘chrome jehovah’.

of all the hung up mistakes with names that i never knew
and you should listen to me because there’ve been quite a few
there’s no way they can connect with what it is you and me do
before the laugh starts to happen after the screaming is through
about time about time about time

unless of course i’m wrong. i’m better at this than you but that doesn’t make me right it only makes me sit & grin sardonic & feel the way this feels when it cracks my rough dry lips i lick them again against my better judgement i blame winter for this but it’s my fault inadvertent & i do wish this was an unusal sort of thing for me, don’t you?

thinking i’ll be better when this is over.

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