you know that cheesy movie, called billie jean or billie jo (not billy jack) it was about this teenage runaway outlaw folk hero chick named billie jean or jo, i think it was helen slater in the role, & anyway she’s on the lam, isn’t that what outlaws go on, the lam? & she had this totally obvious long blonde hair & they’re going to catch her or something so she goes into this bathroom with scissors & just grabs handfuls of her hair & starts hacking it off randomly & when she’s done she has this fabulously stylish chunky punky totally outlaw ‘do and then every chick in america does the exact same thing so da man can’t find our billie jean?
i swearta god.
what? of course it’s just a movie. of course a fabulous stylist actually cut the actual hair. that doesn’t mean i can’t do it. that doesn’t mean i won’t. that doesn’t mean i will.
pat benatar did the theme song. i can’t remember the name of the song offhand but give me a minute. my poor head is so full of useless trivia. and i tried to make a detour through pink but i couldn’t bleach out enough orange without obliterating the hair entirely, so it’s now a neon coral, *not* pink. the solution of course is to remove the too-much-orange hair with scissors. this doesn’t mean i will. this doesn’t mean i won’t.