today the daughter & i, struggling to open a bottle of champagne: she tries, hands it to me. i try, i fail. she shows me the bandages, blood draws in both arms (she’s an eggdonor, there are tests & shit). i take the bottle, the cork comes out easy. i have no injuries to my inner elbows caused by rough phebotomists, i have no excuse, therefore, easy, right?
oh & for those of you that missed the state of the union here are some cliff’s notes:
we got saddam! we got ‘im! sheeit, we done got that saddam oh hell yeah we fucking nailed that saddam fucker. the patriot act means freedom. open the borders so we can put plenty mexicans to work driving this economy forward! the american people love a good corporate scandal! get drugs out of the schools & give them to old people! except steroids, don’t give those to anyone! and we got saddam, the american people can sleep safe at night knowing there was no saddam left behind, also saddam is in custody have i mentioned saddam? & nukular shit in general? be afraid while we keep you safe. vote for us.
weapons of mass destruction related program activities. i swearta fucking god a direct quote, i ran to my ‘puter laughing hard & sardonic to make sure i got it word for word, i hurried. weapons of mass destruction related program activities. that makes it alllllll worth it.