boobs of mass destruction

“clever things make people feel stupid, and unexpected things make them feel scared” ~~ Fry (Futurama)

remember that saying, i love my country but i hate my government? well. i live in a country where the majority of its citizens are shocked and disturbed by the sight of a female breast. now ordinarily i don’t care what cliff the masses are hurling themselves over like the good little lemmings they are, but this is just fucking embarrassing. it’s not just the ridiculousness of our collective hissyfit or the stupidity of an FCC investigation, no, it’s the hypocrisy. and the twisted psychology behind it. oh yes we love boobs in this country, in fact we’re obsessed, in a twisted nasty dirty bad mommy sort of way. this is just so freudian. and freud was a sick fuck.

i totally understand why some people move to europe.

it would be one thing if this was some unfortunate, instinctive human trait, to be both obsessed and disgusted with our own bodies, but it’s not. it’s learned behavior, a cultural mandate enforced with shame. to go against this is to risk … well, if you missed the thousands of minutes of media coverage, just check the cover of people magazine. i mean fuuuuuck. we could be outraged over something that mattered, like oh, i don’t know, maybe going to war for no particular reason? the mysterious imaginary vanishing weapons of mass destruction? but no. we’re all atwitter over a breast-sighting. unnecessary killing: eh – happens. the human body: shocking! evil!

i’m not quite as daring as ms. jackson. but i’m doing my bit for the cause.

5 thoughts on “boobs of mass destruction

  1. a bit of trivia, since i live in freud’s old neighborhood: my daughter’s favorite expression for “penis” is currently “banana”.

  2. oww, my weapon of mass destruction just snapped my adjustable ergonomic keyboard off of its joists!

    sorry, that was unprofessional of me. i apologize.

    does anyone have any bags of ice?

  3. couldn’t agree more. i’m still completely gepuzzled at this whole story.
    (yeah i know it’s puzzled not gepuzzled. but i took german and my teacher had the bad idea of saying that her mom after years of living in the states still put “ge” before each past participle, like in german, and now i do it with everything too, to the point where “puzzled” actually sounds wrong to me…)

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