what are words without feeling? and i cannot feel a thing. a little itchy maybe, a little ache around the edges, that’s about it. i can’t even take fucking pictures. i look at things that once would have tickled my eyes excited and think, and this is a direct quote, “eh.”

it is a quiet life, narrated reckless jaded in a nicotine whisper.

yesterday i watched a cat die. peaceful in her owner’s arms. relieved of a burdensome existence, had nature taken its course it might have taken her a week or more to finish starving herself out of misery. still.

have you ever watched eyes die?

i almost said ‘avoid it if at all possible’ then decided against it. it’s a terrible thing, and important. it makes a difference.

8 thoughts on “whispers

  1. ahem…. well if you are demented like me you just just missed a golden photo-op right there, yessiree…some of us die-hard coast to coast listeners (coasttocoastam.com) believe that the mega pixel cameras they keep improving on actually see more than the naked eye. What you should have done was as the cat was passing on just start snap-snap-snapping away. In the uploaded photos what you would be looking for is a smokey object hovering near the cat as it’s soul left it’s body. It has been described in humans as being about the size of a pack of cigarrettes. Small I know. anyway…it would have helped to answer some age old questions regarding whether or not animals have souls in the first place……………..but I guess all of that would have been rude and impersonal…….”eh”

  2. eyes that no longer see, the life swept past me, on the way up or down, who is to know, eyes that no longer see, remember the life lived, and let them go free. Blessed be. BFG.

  3. i was actually kicking myself the whole time for not bringing the camera, if for nothing else than a last picture for my friend, you know? when will i learn never leave home without my damn camera?

  4. i don’t know how others feel about such things, but i know losing my dog last november was as devastating as losing a human friend or family member, and i’ve lost some of those too. it was good that he died at home, and it was also fucking brutal. i think i learned something about hospice from that experience. not that i would exactly jump at the opportunity with alacrity, but at least i would know what to do. it’s always good to go out there and google the “stages of grieving” piece to re-read.

  5. I haven’t seen an animal die, that I can think of, but I’ve been there at the moment of passing for my best friend and for my dad. It’s extraordinary and devastating and I wouldn’t have missed it, either time.

    As for the rest, “eh” is about right.

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