on a technicality

ok then. my daughter is an eggdonor. a *successful* eggdonor, having just presented her hopeful but up to this point infertile couple with twenty three eggs. they don’t use them all at once, of course, but when the donor begins the medication that sends her into ovulation overdrive, the recipient begins meds which coordinate their cycles, so there can be simultaneous … fruition. and when the moment is ripe, there is the harvesting, and immediately following, there is the … implanting. or something. something involving a cup and a dogeared copy of penthouse, and … boy meets egg across a crowded petri dish and … laporoscopic version of a turkey baster and … you know. birds. bees.

ok then. so. if all went well, by now, there is a little bundle of cells dividing merrily in some nervous but elated future mommy’s tummy. and. t-e-c-h-n-i-c-a-l-l-y? this makes me … potentially … um nevermind.

9 thoughts on “on a technicality

  1. okay, that’s an acceptable alternative to other terms for a … person whose progeny has produced progeny. even technically.

  2. i’m actually looking forward to the day i get to be called “great uncle”.

    modern day procreative science kind of gives me the willies…i guess i am truly a luddite. i salute your daughter’s generosity, and yet i also wonder what sort of world we are living in now blah blah blah and so on…is your daughter thinking about squeezing out any pups of her own?

  3. oh yeah. she wants babies. the eggdonor thing? is generous, yes, but it also pays thirty five hundred bucks. four grand the second time (proven donors being more valuable). so, this is a buying a car getting settled type of venture, as well as the helping the infertile couple with the disposable income.

  4. That is a major amount of money. It’s quick and painless, isn’t it?

    I wonder how much money clinics pay for sperm? Heck, I’d pay the clinics for the chance to come in and whack off in front of a bunch of people!

  5. well, the donor (after passing a rigorous screening process) has to give herself hormone shots for two weeks, so she’ll make mass eggs. the hormones … think PMS on PCP, you know? and then there is a laporoscopic procedure. the whole thing leaves you feeling totally bloated and pissy for days afterwards.

    so, it’s quite a bit less fun than sperm doning.

  6. again, even though the idea of whacking off for profit as well as fun is appealing, the idea of unknown numbers of children who look like me running around somewhere…again, kind of makes me feel weird. not that i’m against it, it’s just a little…weird. for me. but the money part sounds nice. i did take part in a pharmacological study years ago for easy cash, when i was young and dumb. they didn’t pay nearly enough in my book. $70 to take arthritis pills and sit under a uv lamp to see if i sunburn more easily? what a rip.

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