… and don’t make any sudden moves

I am not fond of air travel, and haven’t been on an airplane since … hmm, thinking … 1999? My desire not to fly has increased steadily with each new regulation requiring the violation of personal space, but this one really takes the biscuit. “…during the final hour of flight passengers must remain seated. They won’t be allowed access to carry-on baggage or to have any items on their laps.” Are you fucking kidding me? Really? For the final hour of every flight, I’m to be tortured? Can’t go pee, can’t have anything in my lap at all, can’t do anything but sit quietly with my hands folded in my lap for an hour? Please. I play [qrcodetag tooltip="market://search?q=pname:com.kmagic.solitaire"]Solitaire on my Droid[/qrcodetag] while I’m waiting in line, or taking a cigarette break at work (yes, I even get bored smoking), even while I … well you get the idea. I don’t do sitting quietly doing nothing very well at all. To the extent I find it hard to even imagine doing so for an hour, let alone actually doing it.

It would take a lot to get me on an airplane – and by a lot, I mean, Xanax. Lots and lots of Xanax. And if the airlines aren’t going to start handing those out like candy with the boarding passes, I think I’ll take the train. Or just not go.

Posted in miscellaneous pathology
2 comments on “… and don’t make any sudden moves
  1. CitizenX says:

    Better still can we talk about the idiocy in assuming this timed tactic will snub out the plans of a motivated terrorist?
    Now the plan changes to
    MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS BEFORE THE LAST HOUR OF FLIGHT.
    I mean really.

    Loved your take on sitting idle for an hour and you are right.
    Not a single one of us tethered folk could pull this off.
    A Xanax will just make me want it more.

    In other conspiracy news:
    This hype of al-queda ties is laughable and is being used to justify nekkid scanners in every airport.
    .-= CitizenX┬┤s last blog ..Baucus Drinking Game =-.

  2. stacey says:

    I don’t think that pertains to domestic flights, it may pertain to International flights but I’ve flown 3 times in the last year on domestics the only thing you have to do is stay buckled in and have electronic devices turned off the last 20 minutes as the plane descends, but it’s always been that way. You can’t get at your overhead luggage during the descent time but you are allowed one loose bag under your seat. Domestic flights are rarely longer than an hour up and an hour down between layovers anyways, it’s not anything to worry about. Flying is soooooo much cheaper than trains. In October when I was out there it was $170 round trip, and I even missed my flight out of LAX by a day and still found a flight back for less than $100. Had to spend a day in the airport waiting for the flight though.

    Don’t be a stranger!

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