I am not fond of air travel, and haven’t been on an airplane since … hmm, thinking … 1999? My desire not to fly has increased steadily with each new regulation requiring the violation of personal space, but this one really takes the biscuit. “…during the final hour of flight passengers must remain seated. They won’t be allowed access to carry-on baggage or to have any items on their laps.” Are you fucking kidding me? Really? For the final hour of every flight, I’m to be tortured? Can’t go pee, can’t have anything in my lap at all, can’t do anything but sit quietly with my hands folded in my lap for an hour? Please. I play [qrcodetag tooltip="market://search?q=pname:com.kmagic.solitaire"]Solitaire on my Droid[/qrcodetag] while I’m waiting in line, or taking a cigarette break at work (yes, I even get bored smoking), even while I … well you get the idea. I don’t do sitting quietly doing nothing very well at all. To the extent I find it hard to even imagine doing so for an hour, let alone actually doing it.
It would take a lot to get me on an airplane – and by a lot, I mean, Xanax. Lots and lots of Xanax. And if the airlines aren’t going to start handing those out like candy with the boarding passes, I think I’ll take the train. Or just not go.